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Keywords:

• Wait. How did I get engaged last night?

Keywords:

• Why did you load my phone

Comment: up with pics of Al Gore?

Keywords:

• This beer is not sobering me up at all

Keywords:

• If you spent as much time trying to

Comment: get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

Keywords:

• I would bite a mans dick off for

Comment: a chocolate milk.

Keywords:

• So yeah never trust sex tips from

Comment: yahoo answers

Keywords:

• He asked me who my new boyfriend

Comment: was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.

Keywords:

• He just started dry humping the air...

Comment: I'm DONE.

Keywords:

• Just found $31 in my desk drawer.

Comment: In $1's. WTF happened last night?!

Keywords:

• Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?

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• I appreciate having someone to

Comment: objectively critique my dick pics.

Keywords:

• three words: i give head

Comment: three words: not that well

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• He used the phrase "no problemo"

Comment: in a sext. It's over.

Keywords:

• hickory dickory dock

Comment: please dont tell me about your cock

Keywords:

• I miss you.

Comment: Yeah, I don't want to have sex.